Greetings! I'm Dr. Emerald, your committed, gentle, and holistic family chiropractor right here in Gilbert, AZ. I recently had the opportunity to contribute to an insightful podcast discussion, where we explored the all-important subject of standing up for your health and mastering the art of effective communication to ensure your voice is heard.

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Hard Conversations: Listening to be Heard

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During the podcast, we acknowledged that hard conversations aren't about confrontations, but they're about being open, honest, and mindful of our emotions and reactions. A phrase that Katherine shared which I've found helpful is, "It's a conversation, not a confrontation" and it's been enlightening to make actionable steps to incorporate this mindset into my life.

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The Listener-Speaker Exercise

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Katherine Garcia, LPC, highlighted the feedback loop or the listener-speaker exercise. This technique, created by Dr. Gottman and Gottman for couples, is about ensuring that the speaker is genuinely heard by the listener. As a listener, taking notes about what is being said can be helpful. It's important to remember that we are listening to comprehend, not to defend or respond. The aim is to reflect back what we heard from the speaker, ensuring that the message was correctly understood.

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Overcoming Barriers in Communication

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Within our lives, we often face numerous obstacles that can disrupt our ability to communicate effectively. One such pervasive barrier is the instinct to become defensive or react emotionally when confronted with a challenging discussion. This is particularly common when the topic involves our health, as these conversations are often inherently personal and can arouse intense emotions.

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Our defensive reactions, while natural, can unfortunately cloud our judgement and impede our ability to genuinely understand the other person's perspective. 

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Maintaining control over our emotional responses is therefore crucial for effective communication. This is not to say that emotions are detrimental; on the contrary, they are integral to our human experience. However, when it comes to advocating for our health, we must strive to ensure that our emotional reactions don't interfere with our ability to listen attentively and comprehend fully.

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Think about it this way: if you're in a state of defensiveness, your mind is more focused on preparing a counterargument or protecting your standpoint than on understanding the other person's perspective. This defensive mentality can create a roadblock to open, effective communication.

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By learning to manage our emotional responses, we open the door to more productive conversations. This skill is particularly beneficial when discussing health matters with healthcare providers or loved ones. Embracing this strategy allows us to take a step back, listen, and absorb crucial information, which can ultimately lead to better health outcomes and stronger relationships.

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Speaking From a Place of Authenticity

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The speaker should aim to express their feelings without accusing or blaming the other party. As a speaker, your focus should be on conveying how you experienced the situation and what you felt, using respectful, kind, and clear language. Authenticity is critical, as it helps prevent defensiveness and promote mutual understanding.

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Perception, Reality, and Listening

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Conversations about feelings and perceptions should be a back-and-forth exchange, where both the speaker and listener get a chance to express their views. It's essential to respect the other person's feelings and perceptions, even if they're different from our own. Trying to impose our feelings and views on the other person could potentially lead to gaslighting, which we want to avoid at all costs.

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Creating Safe Spaces for Conversation

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To encourage open, honest dialogue, we need to create a safe space for conversations. If we feel that the other person is upset or defensive, it may be better to have the conversation at a later time when they're more receptive. These discussions should not be had during a fight, but rather at a time of calm to foster solutions instead of confrontation.

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Harnessing the Power of Note-Taking

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Note-taking can be a helpful tool during these discussions, allowing us to keep track of key points. However, it's equally important to maintain active listening and not get too engrossed in writing down notes. If needed, ask the speaker to repeat certain points to ensure comprehension.

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The Power of Conversation

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The basis of any good relationship, be it with a healthcare professional or a loved one, lies in clear and open communication. As we noted in our discussion, it's essential to create a space where you can converse freely. This space should be free from defensiveness or blame-shifting, allowing each person to express their feelings and thoughts without fear. The goal here isn't to pinpoint fault but to reach mutual understanding and solve the problem at hand. As your gentle family chiropractor in Gilbert, AZ, I believe in cultivating such a space with my practice members, providing an environment where they feel comfortable and understood.

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The Art of Listening

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In our conversation, we discussed the need to focus on one topic at a time. It's easy to fall into the trap of shifting topics, especially when under pressure or feeling defensive. However, to truly understand and resolve the issue at hand, it's important to stay on task and discuss one topic at a time. This technique helps both parties feel heard and valued, which in turn fosters better communication.

As a holistic family chiropractor, I understand the importance of listening to my patients' concerns. I believe in being fully present during our conversations and in providing my patients with the attentive care they deserve.

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Mindful Communication

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We often play the role of scorekeepers in our relationships, remembering past faults and hurts. However, this tit-for-tat mentality can be harmful, shifting focus from the original problem to personal grievances. This is why Katherine emphasizes the need to focus on one event or issue at a time. By doing so, we can ensure that our discussions are productive and respectful, creating a safe space for each person to voice their concerns.

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In my practice as a chiropractor in Gilbert, AZ, I strive to apply this principle. I focus on each patient's unique needs, making sure to address their concerns without bringing up unrelated matters. This approach helps me provide personalized, specific care, staying true to my commitment as a holistic health professional.

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Recap & Closing Thoughts

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To advocate for your health effectively, it's important to create a safe environment for conversations, focus on one topic at a time, and practice mindful communication. Remember, the goal of these conversations is not to assign blame but to find a solution. 

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Thank you for joining us in this journey towards wellness. As your gentle, specific, holistic family chiropractor in Gilbert, AZ, I'm here to support you every step of the way. See you next time!